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Climate, anxiety and depression - a post from the heart

Sometimes I feel like I can't bear to open my eyes and look at the world because I'm so deeply ashamed to be a human being and worried about what's going on. Much as I try to believe in the goodness and humanity in people I am finding it hard to hold onto that faith right now.

I think most of the scientific community, barring those who've received a nice sum of money from the fossil fuel barons, agree about climate change. I certainly would never call myself any kind of expert, some of my degree was about planetary science, but like a growing number I feel climate change has probably been vastly underestimated and will be quicker than people think. There are an awful lot of people thinking "it won't happen in my lifetime" who are probably going to be surprised, and not pleasantly so.

We actually live below sea level here so I'm very aware of our vulnerability. But it's not just about me, I feel very powerless when I read of people in other parts of the world who are already suffering from it's effects. That powerlessness is increased by realising we're effectively in the hands of a small number of extremely rich and powerful people behaving like selfish toddlers throwing their toys out of the pram because they don't like what they're hearing.

 I cannot understand the mindset of wanting more when you already have everything. Lets face it, underlying all this is selfishness and greed. Not only will these people not be told maybe they need to lead by example and rein in their lavish lifestyles, they will ruthlessly try and stop anything that gets in the way of them getting more money. Add in vast swathes of the wider population who are being influenced in completely the wrong way by people on social media to lead a more materialistic life and we have a mess on our hands.

There are a lot of billionaires created from fossil fuels and I don't understand why they don't use some of that money to fund research into alternatives, help regenerate areas of forest, or help people. I know some fuel companies are doing this but there's a lot who aren't too. Most of these billionaires could stop work now and live the rest of their lives comfortably, so why they need to fund propaganda denying climate change and attack a 16 year old girl who's stood up and stated the blindingly obvious to them is beyond me.

I have unfortunately twice in my life come up against rich "powerful" men who weren't going to stand to be questioned by an upstart like me. What I found curious about both encounters is both wanted to shut me down using any means possible, and I kind of suspected underneath both were actually quite weak. I'm probably fairly unusual in that I'm happy with my life as it is, my idea of a nice afternoon is a cup of tea watching the chickens mooter about the garden, and that seemed to be a tremendous threat for whatever reason. Money and glamour doesn't turn my head, a gorgeous little Pekin bantam does (I'm talking about Mr Flump of course).

In the Western world we live in this la la land of continual economic growth, and nothing can grow forever, particularly on a planet with finite resources. (And I don't think we should destroy this planet and go and live on Mars either, quite frankly the human race mucking up one should be enough.)

 I do understand the magnitude of change in society that's going to be required to achieve anything, however small. Convincing people that they don't need to be purchasing something every two minutes to be happy won't be easy. I am sure alternative employment could be created by stewardship of the living environment rather than exploiting it though, it just needs some creative thinking.

 Living simply can bring a lot of contentment and happiness, but people need to experience it to find that out. I think that's at the core of why people like me and others open ourselves up to judgement and heaven knows what else on the internet, because we want to show how nice it can be, and I guess I need to somehow use that myself as motivation, even on days when I feel like hiding under the duvet.

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